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Get to Know Your Boundaries.

Get to Know Your Boundaries.

• Make sure to end the relationship clearly so that you are not stringing the other person along. Bonus Step: Learn to be ok with yourself. a big reason why we drag relationships out is that we are afraid of being alone. This is a normal and natural fear, but learning to be with ourselves is the most empowering thing we can do. And, when we find that place of contentment within ourselves, we become more available to be with someone else. If you find yourself afraid to leave a relationship, or always dating to avoid being alone, try these practices to reconnect with yourself: Here are mindfulness practices for you: • Breathe into your belly. By breathing deeply we can calm down the incessant chatter in our mind and start to really listen to ourselves – our “true” selves.www adultfriend finder • Practice self-love. Eat good food, soak in an Epsom salt bath, get a massage. Treating yourself well will be certain to reflect in your attitude towards others. Following these tips will help you navigate the dating scene while practicing compassion for yourself and others. It may be scary at first but you will find that you will ultimately have more fun and freedom as you date. Good luck out there and keep practicing! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

Share This Article Facebook20Tweet0Pin1 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: Dating, Relationships A free dating site can be a much needed resource for anyone looking at some fun or even looking for a serious relationship. Getting on board of a free dating site, chatting with people from all over the world, having fun and also exploring the opportunity to meet someone you might like can be an incredible experience, especially when you do not have to pay anything for the resource. However, you cannot and should not simply select any free dating site to get going. Before you sign up or before you decide that a specific free dating site is going to satiate you, there is a fair amount of research that is needed. There are many types of free dating sites and which one would be the best for you will depend on your personal preferences. People looking for dates in their city or neighborhood will not be happy with international dating sites and likewise, those who are looking at serious relationships will not be happy with a free dating site that doesn’t have members looking for a real date. Stay Safe The first attribute of a free dating site that you should check for is whether it is completely safe. Now, safety would be categorized in multiple ways here. One type of security would be cyber security. Since free dating site doesn’t charge you anything, many of them are hotbed of viruses, spyware and other malwares. It is very easy to download a virus or get your system infected with malicious contents. Some serious spywares can crash your hard disk and some malwares can steal your personal information and even financial data.

It is important to run a thorough background checks on the company operating the free dating site. Read as many reviews as you’re able. Second, you should look at the privacy policies of the free dating site. Your pictures, videos, personal information and where you live and such details should be kept discreet. Sure you should be able to share some information with people you interact but nothing that you do not allow should accessible by anyone on the free dating site or beyond the site. Features For a free dating site, offering basic profiles and messaging features are what most people expect. But without enough photos, tools or interactive applications, the free dating site can become a little mundane. Look for a free dating site with more features than just the basic ones. Active Profiles A free dating site may have five hundred thousand profiles but active members might be only a handful. You would have to observe how many members are truly active and go with a free dating website that has the most. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Tips & Advice It took me one night of drunken passion between friends (which should never really be told outside ‘the circle of trust’), to come to a harsh reality. “Phil, I think you’re too mature for your own age.” Too mature!? Then it took me almost a year or so to finally realize that maybe that statement is truer than Jesus doing the Charleston.

Bitch Slap Your Inner Douche

Being 22, I have only been in one serious relationship which lasted for three years. I attempted to jump back into the dating scene, but all three dates suffered from a lack of chemistry, or simply ending before they began. I began to think: either I was not right for dating, or dating doesn’t like me. After being baffled (thinking that it was something I was doing), I asked my friends for some consultation; most of them having no problems when it came to finding women. I learned that their relationships were brief because after the second or third month, sex would enter their relationship, and after that they moved on. I remember thinking two things after hearing that (and finally noticing the trend): I need some new friends, and why would someone do something so early in a relationship. It took me two plus years too finally reach that stage, and I was fairly comfortable with that; sex to me wasn’t a necessity; it was keeping the relationship going. Putting it into a much bigger perspective, I remember telling her ‘ I love you’ at about the second or third month.

Talking with co-workers (mostly females), I found out most of their relationships started out the same way; some moving on and some staying with their ‘love’ for months or even years at a time. I began to notice a trend with family and friends: “Sex matters, Love can wait.” To me, I think of that as loose and shallow, and I think that we’ve become a generation of poor morale and ethics. I always thought love as the first step to truly understanding yourself; you can’t really discover who you are without the aid of a beautiful woman or man (which ever way you swing). After time, I began to realize that there can be several reasons why most people do this… 1. You need to get your fix: I’ll admit, it’s human nature and everybody has the urge to get their freak on. They do the deed simply by working on it for a couple months, and then after they get their fix, it’s time for hibernation. 2. Sex is merely a gauge: If you can move your hips, you can move my heart. Excuse the language but I think that’s a shitty reason, and I think that you’re just a whore. 3. Relationships are moving at the speed of smell: My friend dated a girl for 2 and a half weeks and got married. Nuff said. I’m thinking that maybe people aren’t worried about security over time; they want it right away and right now. I’ve noticed a lot of people and friends are in this mad rush to find their soul mate, those perfect people who will fulfill your every need till the end of time (December 2012). As soon as someone hears the words ‘I love you’, it’s time for some business, ‘because it’s business time.’ 4. Love is nothing more than a sashimi knife: Maybe people are afraid to be hurt, so they go into a loveless marriage/relationship; sex being no introduction to obligation.

I think if the majority of the points don’t relate with you, this can be one for you. You’ve experienced the feeling for first time of having your heart ripped out of your chest; after that, you just want to avoid love. When sex does come into the relationship, you treat it like nothing, almost like you expect it sub-consciously. Disclaimer and Conclusion: People are all different, and I am not one to judge. Everybody has their way of doing something, while other people may have the complete reverse style. This is merely an opinion so please don’t run me over while I ride my bike riding door-to-door asking you if you’d like to hear the good word. Maybe I’m just an old fashion kid in an evolving world, but I ask you to take your time; you have years ahead of you so there is no need to rush. It could have hurt the first time you lost your love, but if you just take your time, maybe any particular one boy/girl is right in front of your eyes right now. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox!

Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: Dating, love, Relationships, Sex Deciding to move in with your boyfriend is a serious step which shouldn’t be taken lightly. A lot of couples decide to live together after a short period of time, even though they don’t know each other very well. This could lead to a lot of complications in your relationship which could be easily avoided, if you simply learn to pay more attention to the details. The design of the home in which your boyfriend lives at the moment can give you a lot of important information about his personality and his preferences. In case you want to learn more about him now, as opposed to later when you are already living together, we can give you some tips which will help you understand better what his home is telling you. No relationship is perfect and that is one of the reasons why sometimes you will need to work hard to preserve the connection between you and your boyfriend. The more things you know about him, the better for you. So, you can start by looking over his apartment or another place in which he is living at the moment. The cleanness of the home is very important for most women but you have to understand that your boyfriend probably doesn’t think this way.

Dating Younger Men: Hot Trend or Plain Trashy?

In case his place is a mess, don’t be in hurry to conclude that he is a slob. It is true that the cleaning is important for the good maintenance of every home but your boyfriend might be just lazy. In this case, you will need to decide whether you will be able to handle the washing of the dishes, the dusting and all other cleaning chores all by yourself once you move in together. If you would like know what more the home style can tell you about your boyfriend, look below.

Sophisticated style – It is nice to know that your man has a certain sense of style, especially when it comes to the design of his home. If you see that every accessory and decorative element in his home has a special place, this means that your man likes to be in control and always keeps things in order. The expensive pictures, antiques, furniture and other elements, however, could show that he is pretentious. Most men don’t know a lot about the latest tendencies in the home design, so in case you notice that your man is well-informed, perhaps you have to think whether you two have the same taste. Old and messy – The reason your boyfriend keeps a lot of old furniture, appliances and other things in his home which already look worn out and ugly could be the lack of money. On the other hand, this could be a sign that he is not pretentious and he doesn’t need much to feel comfortable. After all, those are simply objects which can be replaced any time and there are more important things in which your man could invest his money. You have to decide, however, whether you are also the type of person who likes the simple design instead associated with the sophisticated one. Comfortable and cosy – The combination of two different styles shows that your boyfriend is creative and he likes to experiments in life.

If he looks for the balance between the stylish and the traditional, this could be a clear sign that he will be open to the idea of creating your own design for your home in which you will live together. There are many things which the style of your boyfriend’s home can tell you and this will be very useful for you once you learn to read the different signs. It is important, though, to respect the taste and preferences of your boyfriend because they make him the person that you love. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook6Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Relationships Tagged in: boyfriend, home style, move in together, relationship “It’s better to burn out than to fade away” Neil Young said it best. He was probably referring to Rock and Roll but he might too have been talking about the heart. I’ve been spending a lot of time lately thinking about breaking up, ending relationships, and how to do it with honesty, tact, and love. Too often I hear stories about people ending casual relationships by employing the Fade” that is“Slow or “Fade Away”.

Slowly fade away by taking longer and longer to reply to text messages, not answering your phone when they call, and hoping that they’ll eventually get the idea. And guess what? They do. They also get the idea that you’re essentially a coward who is too scared to have a difficult conversation about your feelings for someone else. The problem is that I’ve been there. Date someone for a little while, and it either goes somewhere or it doesn’t. When it doesn’t, it’s probably because you’re just not into them any more, or the ardor has faded, or someone more interesting has come along. You know it’s time to tell that person that you’re not as interested in the relationship as you once were, but it’s so hard to pick up the phone to tell them. Here’s a list of the reasons you shouldn’t employ the Slow Fade as a strategy to end your relationships. I want to say that it gets better with practice but the reality is that ending a relationship, not matter how casual, is never fun. But it’s always worth doing right. 6 Reasons Not To Fade Away You have no idea how they’re going to feel.  Sure, you can have a pretty good idea if the person you’re dating is going to be hurt or not by your breaking it off, but you don’t really know. Perhaps they’re having the same feelings as you, and having just as hard a time bringing .

Unless they tell you, don’t pretend that you know how someone is going to feel. You’re burning a bridge. Just because you’re not feeling your romantic relationship, doesn’t mean you need to fully cut off the relationship. When you fade away, you’re essentially blocking yourself from ever really having a chance at any kind of relationship with that person. If a job opening comes up and they know you’re looking, they’re not going to call you. They have a cute friend who you might get along with? Too bad, you blew it. Also, enjoy your next connection with them when you inevitably bump into them at a bar or on the street. It’s childish.  That’s right, being an adult means having tough adult conversations.

If you were bold enough to ask them out, and bold enough to take their clothes off, and have grown up adult sex with them, then you’re old enough to pick up or tell them in person that your feelings have changed. You’re blowing your chance at future sex.  That’s right. Future sex! Sex in the foreseeable future with someone you’ve already had sex with can be super hot. In sales, they call this a warm lead. Just because you’re not feeling them now doesn’t mean you won’t in the foreseeable future. Doesn’t mean you won’t bump into her and her hot friend at a bar sometime, and who knows what will happen next. It’s lame and cowardly. That’s it. Not calling someone back, or confronting this hard conversation is cowardly. It makes you look like a loser, because let’s be honest, it’s a total loser move. You might as well go home with a box of Hot Pockets and Corn Pops and drown your lameness in carbs and fat. The reality is that ending a relationship is never easy, never feels good, and isn’t something you’re ever going to get better at. In fact, I still sometimes think I’m being 100% honest in my relationships and then realize that I’m not calling someone back because I’m fearful of telling them how I really feel. This actually happened last week, and I had to get honest with her before I could even sit down to write this.

So you might ask how to go about having these hard conversations. And I have a few guidelines. Never do it over text. Unless it was a first date and you didn’t have sex, never text a breakup. Don’t make it about them. Keep the focus on yourself. This translates to something along the lines of: I’ve had a really nice time connecting with you, but the chemistry we have is not the chemistry I’m looking for. OR I think you’re super sweet and special, and I’ve had a great time getting to know. However, this romantic connection isn’t the type of connection I’m looking for. That’s it. It’s short, it’s honest, and it’s effective. It’s safer to rip the band aid off quickly than to peel it away over the course of weeks. I realize that not every relationship may be ended this way, and that there are many factors involved. If you start with this versus not contacting them at all, you’re heading in the right direction. Be sure you be kind, loving, and gentle with your words and every person involved will be grateful.

 Shaun Galanos is the host and producer of The Love Drive. He lives, drives, and writes in San Francisco, CA.Find more articles and videos at The Love Drive Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook30Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: breaking up, dating advice, dating like an adult, thelovedrive When I began online dating, I discovered someone highly intriguing who lived on the other side of the world. Although he assured me Topanga Canyon was a reasonable 26 miles away from my Pasadena apartment, Los Angelenos know this translates into a 60-minute drive in “real” time. This is if the traffic Gods are with us and is dependent on our being good to them which can be rarely the case. He was a seducer, with e-mails laced with poetry and pictures from coasts with sapphire seas. I announced from the onset I would not meet him as I had sworn off dating anyone outside a fifteen-mile radius. My brief encounter with a Malibu realtor cemented that one.

So, Steve and I began a playful e-mail affair while I continued to look for a more suitably located future. In the meantime, my friend Diana announced she wanted help jumping into the online dating pool. Being familiar with the agony of swimming in the ”over 50” category, I invited her over for several glasses of wine and a tutorial on creating a profile.” She is cute and petite and has an infectious spirit which convinced me she would have much success. After much laughter and a touch of plagiarism, the final product was submitted to her site of choice. I warned her that she needed to emotionally prepare for the changes in her life that were about to occur. Wanting her to remain hopeful for at least the immediate future, I refrained from warning her that these changes could directly result in the swift death of her presently secure ego. The content of the first day of school was to introduce the three tiers of guys available in this online world. I told her the men behind door number one would be those she would only consider going out within a nightmare. These are the guys with pictures that look as if they have just been released from prison. One guy who contacted me was sporting a gun and toothpick, and another had a naked beer belly with a potable resting on it. A third candidate was standing in front of a white pickup truck replete with a confederate banner.

My advice was for her was to press delete immediately should she view pictures that she found troubling. No one needs haunting images taking up mental area. If she wasn’t careful, her open-minded persona could quickly catapult into a permanent lockdown mode. Next are the guys that strike us as being worthy of inquiry. For these men I suggested Diana ask a single question then wait and evaluate.

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