5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Men and Dating That People Can’t Excuse
A game show where two families compete for a cash prize by trying to find the most popular answers to a variety of questions about a month ago, one of my sisters tagged me in a video she recorded of Family Feud. Regarding the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the participants to respond to an extremely loaded statement: “Name reasons a female might choose to be with a chubby or fat man. ”</p>
The contestants’ answers end up providing a round that is humorous the minds associated with contestants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.
But my sister didn’t share this video clip on her behalf Facebook page to garner laughs from her family and friends. It had been quite contrary: my cousin ended up being furious at the round’s subject while the responses provided. My sibling published:
“This actually bothers me! For this reason people think you should be skinny/fit become breathtaking, to be desired, to be liked, also to deserve anything…this is never OK! ”
My sister tagged me personally on this page knowing my back ground in fat studies and sex studies (so when a fat person that is masculine, once you understand I would personally concur along with her frustrations.
Image description: A screenshot of this Family Feud game board using the six most widely used responses: “Fatty got cash” (34 away from 100 people surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The single thing this specific round of Family Feud does correctly is summarize a number of the unfortunate fables our society perpetuates about fat individuals — specifically, fat men — and relationships.
But, calling away fatphobic urban myths ended up being obviously not the game’s aim. Rather it perpetuated body terrorism against fat systems to score laughs that are cheap. Let’s proceed through each one of the top six many answers that are popular order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and damaging to males of size.
1. “Fatty Got Money! ”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable For Their Cash or Power
The misconception: the fact this misconception is one of popular regarding the six offered responses — 34 regarding the 100 individuals initially surveyed offered this or a similarly-worded solution — is troubling by itself. This myth is one thing we come across throughout US tradition, whether or not it’s in films, politics, or popular tradition.
In case a classically appealing person of every sex has been a fat guy, the typical presumption is this fat guy should have cash or some type of energy. Why else would a person who could presumably get with anybody they desired prefer to get with a disgusting fat guy, right?
This sort of idea is incredibly damaging for the great deal of fat males, putting each of their value as individuals in to the money or power they might or might not have.
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The facts: While you can find, of course, many people whom just look for relationships for the money or energy, the truth is that quite often, individuals will decide to get with a man that is fat they really desire to be with him. This misconception is significantly less usually put on thin or “fit” guys, unless of program that individual is well known to possess money or power. However it’s much easier for folks to understand two thin or typically appealing individuals being together because they’re drawn to one another than each time a thin or person that is traditionally attractive become by having a fat guy for any other less superficial reasons.
2. “She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Just Like Other Fat Individuals
The misconception: with this specific misconception, we come across just how individuals make an effort to simply take away fat people’s agency. It suggests that fat individuals will simply be in a position to have relationships along with other fat individuals, whether it’s since they just find other fat individuals attractive or that is all they are able to “get”, when you look at the many brutal of terms.
Slipped into this misconception is just an associated fatphobic misconception: that all fat everyone loves for eating plenty of meals, and all sorts of individuals who love to eat foodstuffs are fat.
The reality: Put clearly, the assumption that fat individuals will only look for relationships along with other fat individuals is false. Humans — fat, skinny, as well as in between — could be and sometimes are interested in a wide selection of individuals of all size and shapes. To assume that fat people will just ever be with fat individuals reaches ab muscles least ignorant, or even entirely fatphobic and sizeist.
So that as when it comes to proven fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that’s another misconception too.
3. “She’ll Look Better”: Fat Men Are Ugly
The misconception: All men that are fat based on this worldview, are inherently less appealing than just about any partner they are able to ever have. Such men’s lovers would just utilize them to look more appealing by comparison. This misconception helps make the assumption that, as previously mentioned above, no body could conceivably take a relationship with a fat man because they’re actually interested in him. Fat folks are merely tools to make their (presumably non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.
The facts: in the same way many people might pursue a man that is fat money or energy, some individuals might just pursue fat men to appear more desirable to other people. In fact, though, this appears to be less frequent than this response might have us believe.
I’ll keep saying the idea, even when We appear to be a broken record: lots of people really find fat males appealing!
4. “She’s In Love”
This is the only real answer that is truly mocking-free in the very best responses in the board. That by itself is illustrative regarding the entrenched fatphobia on display into the other countries in the answers. It is available in at 9/100, which means that away from 100 individuals surveyed, “She’s in love” had been the solution distributed by just nine people.
Exactly what are fat males viewing expected to think of their health and their well well worth as human beings?
5. “He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Great For Cuddling Yet Not Intercourse
The misconception: this can be one particular “positive stereotypes” many of us make an effort to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all gay men are trendy and confident. ”
Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, not much else from the “positive” part of stereotyping. As proof of this, one of many game show participants offered a remedy that finished up not being in the board: that a female would date a fat guy because he had been proficient at intercourse. Steve Harvey, in their “comedic” fashion, reacted just as if it was many crazy solution in the planet, aided by the other contestants together with market laughing in agreement. In that way, the show promoted the idea that while fat males can cuddly be warm and, they aren’t become seen as intimate beings, let alone “good” at sex.
The reality: the matter with “positive stereotypes” would be that they automatically alienate whoever does not remain in those stereotypes. A whole lot worse, they alienate anyone who desires to be viewed much more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by culture.
Truly the only redeeming quality our tradition permits fat guys — if they aren’t rich or effective, and never also 100% regarding the time — is the fact that they’re like fluffy bears. Even though many fat guys are certainly “warm and cuddly, ” it’s harmful in order for them to see this because their only good trait.
Further, just exactly what somebody perceives to be that is“good “bad” at intercourse is oftentimes totally subjective and located in individual choice. Ridiculing the idea that fat males could possibly be “good” at intercourse further entrenches systemic fatphobia.
6. “He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too In Need Of Like To Be Unfaithful
The misconception: Fat men won’t ever cheat on the lovers, the reasoning goes, because they wouldn’t do just about anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they will have within their present relationship. Easily put, they already know that no one else may wish to be together with them.
The reality: To bluntly put it, this really is directly incorrect. This dehumanizing survey solution assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for sexual and attention that is romantic.
As damning as it might be to admit, fat guys are just like likely as every other men to cheat on the lovers. And much more crucially, this misconception posits that fat males are so ugly, no body will give them an opportunity to cheat to their lovers, which, once again, can also be drastically wrong to assume.